Tick, tock, tick, tock,
The clock went ticking on,
The ceiling, the floor, the fan, the wall,
Haunted me from all around,
They told me that I were to die,
I wasn’t scared but there was a sigh,
I knew I had to die in the due course of time,
But why now was the feeling from inside.
‘Death’ I thought from the bed I lie,
Is present somewhere just near by,
Wanting to touch me and take me along,
Leaving my body in this world all alone,
The screams of silence echoed in my ears,
And loneliness and darkness accompanied her,
All these were symbols of death alone,
It was waiting for me somewhere around.
I felt a sudden pain in my heart,
Which was stopping and I knew will never start,
I knew I was to leave this world,
And must probably step into another world,
Suddenly I felt a frozen touch,
And then there was nothing as pain and such,
I got up from my bed and simply looked behind,
I was shocked to see my body besides….
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7 comments recieved, please click here to comment:
applause!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Simply true...hope that death comes that easy for all....
whoa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is tooooo GOOOD :-)
i really liked this one the best!!!
very well written - good rhyme, good flow, good ending - all in all an excellent piece of writing!! :-)
keep it up!
i just read it twice or thrice...i felt the pain in the chest too...a desolate..lonely death..? btw, u' ve written.."And loneliness and darkness accompanied her",... and then called death as 'it'(may be i'm mistaken) u check it...anyways, a very good poem
It is AWESOME!!!! Wonderfully expressed....touched me deep within my heart...n sent chills thru me....frm all d ones dat i read in ur collection...this 1 is jz BEAUTIFUL!!!
Hey getting a bit personal...wot made u write abt death...n it seems as if u hv had a close encounter wit death....or....
hello Chanjal,
well, every thing inside your blog is really in your real life experience. actually, you're really good in writing poems simply because you really express yourself on how the way it should be, the words you used to imply your feelings does make sense, i mean the whole idea is there and seemed to be really, really understood,
just keep in mind when writing poems or something, always put your heart into it, so when your readers read it also, they'll feel how you feel the same way too, -and that's how your poems does
also, i think you should keep your readers keep tracking on the next sentence, collect all the details that is like somewhat there's a deeper meaning hiding at the last part,
LET your readers KEEP imagining
and when you use words when expressing your thoughts i suggest that you use it in a deeper way, like use a word that can attach a lot of images so your readers won't get bored..
Well, in terms of your drawing skills, i'm not sure what you were up to, but i could say that you have a strong drawing skills, i could never imagine myself drawing like this as yours, it's really cool.. i hope you could help me in Illustrations also...
anyway,
hope this helps you, keep up the goodwork and continue learning from your experience.
-angelique
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