The story of a beautiful friendship

Once upon a time there lived a rose alone in the gardens. She loved her garden but felt the pain of loneliness every time she woke. Whenever friendly flowers grew close to her, the gardeners would replant them away as to keep her unique. Unique was she but lonely. One day she chose to look at the sky and happened to see a smiling sun. For the first time she realized that she could possibly make friends beyond her kind. She bloomed back at the sun and her glorious shades of red caught the sun's eye who chose to be her friend. Every Morning, the sun would wake her up with his delicate morning rays and she would bloom most beautifully with all her charm. Days passed and best friends they became, friends that complimented each other the most. But the skies had another choice to make. They envied their friendship and decided to have the sun on their own. Clouds formed and covered the sun as the sun tried beaming every possible rays to his best friend, but in vain. Not seeing her friend for long, the rose stopped blooming. She searched for him at every nook and corner of the sky. Days passed and the winds and clouds were harsh on her. Slowly she started to wither in distress and pain. Soon enough she was no more. Seeing their friendship come to an end, the clouds chose to move away from the sun. As the sun shone harder for days as he searched for her everywhere he realized she was gone. Until one day he saw a new rose bud spawn in her place. A beginning of a new friendship and thus continued the change of seasons.

Yuvika’s mamma

Last year was a huge year for me. I would say so because I learnt a few more things as a mother and also could live a “working woman’s life”.  Last year with a whole lot of enthusiasm I joined my daughter’s school as a teacher. It was a very beautiful experience. I could meet and know 35 new children and soon did we bond quite well too. I still do miss them now but I wouldn’t say I regret taking the decision to resume my home maker tag.

One thing I learnt about being a mother is, no matter how big your child becomes there will never be a time when they wouldn’t need you. I say so because last year this was one among the points I gathered to become a working mother. I thought she is 5 years old, and I will be working in her school so rather than missing me, I would be around her so she wouldn’t miss me at all. So I misconstrued it to be a win-win situation. But every time I returned from school what I saw were her eyes searching for my attention when I would be busy with my own homework. She would then slowly stand beside me intending to spend time with me after which, I suppose, but I would on the contrary yell at her saying, “Yuvi! Either finish your home work if you have any or go watch cartoon, DON’T DISTURB ME!”  I wouldn’t say that I didn’t see her becoming sad then, but I ironically do admit that I didn’t mind ignoring it as I thought my work was more important at the point. And when thinking about it now, I didn’t realize that every time I was being appreciated at school for my work, it was actually gained at the cost of my daughter’s happiness. But practically speaking I was physically there with her after school hours, and she didn’t have much to learn at home so that part of my requirement wasn’t there either. I made sure she had all her meals on times, her all physical needs were met. But I wasn’t mentally there with her for the entire year last year and she was taking it bad.

At school, I would caress my children when they became sad and appreciate at the simplest improvement they showed, but at home I preferred ignoring my child for my career gains. My children’s parents called me a “motherly teacher” while in real, I was failing at my role as a mother. I didn’t realize all these at that moment until one day God decided to show me my mistakes. As I cared for my children at class, my daughter was also blessed with a loving caring mother like teacher. She always taught her set of children morals and lessons of life besides the academy. May be that would be why Yuvi did not spoil in the one year I ignored her. One day , her madam, walked up to me and asked  what my daily schedules were . Initially I was a little confused on why does she want to know my routine, but very proudly poured in all my work routine believing that I am doing the best I can do. After listening to my entire words, she asked me, “Chanjal, do you know you child misses you?”  I was like “Misses me? How… I mean why? I am always there with her, at school, at home…..??? I don’t get it.”  She simply smiled and told me that she had asked her class about their parents the previous day and my daughter being one among the most reserved child in the class replied so, “I love my mamma. She does scold me for my bad doings but I know she does so because she loves me.  But now, Mamma is so busy that I can only see her running around. She doesn’t sit with me or play with me anymore. So papa plays with me after office. I think she loves her class children more now. May be they listen to her very well.” Honestly speaking, when I heard this, I was lost. I didn’t hear another word anyone said. I did realize then that I have officially become a bad mother now.

That was my wake up call. And I changed, from the exact day on wards I made sure that as soon as I came home I would hold her and share my whole day with her. And when she slept at night I was on my school work. My performance at school did deteriorate from then though, but no one complained. Gradually due to this unhealthy routine of mine my health began complaining and finally at the end of the academic year, I resigned. It was painful and joyous at the same moment to do so. A huge lesson I learnt, I must say. All, our children want is love, attention, a feeling they are important to us. They need to know that! All the other of their necessities can be met with alternatives except for your love! No one can give them your share of love. And no matter big they become, they will always seek your love if you constantly give them. Hope you realize your mistake too, if you are doing any.. ..

A Goul or a lady?

Hi everyone! I was wondering I had always shared with you my point of views, my opinions and such so why don’t I share a few of my “spooky” experiences this time. Here goes.

I was in my 10^th and my board exams were on. With only 1 more day to go for my Science exam I was engrossed in my books loosing track of time.  While I was recollecting all the diseases caused by malnutrition and its cures, the clock interrupted me, striking 3 in the morning. “God! Its 3 already!”  I thought. It didn’t scare me though, as I was used to these long hour studies since my 5^th STD. “Enough for today, I do have a day more to go” alleviating myself so, I closed my books and kept all my stationeries in place. Since childhood I was scared of darkness and so my papa fixed a dimmer on the bedroom light which I always made sure to be at its max while I went to sleep. I and my brother shared a room. As I saw my brother lying on bed snoring through his sleep, I lied on the bed, prayed to God and was all set to go to my la-la land. The room, in which we slept, had photographs of lord Krishna whom we worshipped, right at the entrance of our room. I was all ready on the bed and as I pulled my blanket covering myself till my shoulders, I saw a lady next to our worship place. She was looking at Krishna’s photograph with her hands in gesture saying Namaste, her eyes were filled with love or devotion or whatever you may call it and she stood there as if she had forgotten about the world.  She was gorgeously very fair and she had jet black curly hair till her hips that was dripping as if she had just had a dip in the waters. She was wearing a light off brown skirt covering her torso till her knees but exposing her shoulders and skin seemed as butter. In the light of the bright crème bedroom light just above her, she glowed very godly like a Goddess. I was not scared for moment because I was rather confused on where I was. The second I reckoned that this woman is no one I know and she is the one who is in the wrong place, chills ran through my spin. I could really feel some sort of electricity running through my entire body. I was lying there on the bed staring at this gorgeous lady in my room and I did not know what to do. Suddenly, in the compulsion to make an action, I gathered all my strength and decided to face her. Without thinking, I sat on my bed throwing my blanket away and asked in a shivering bold voice, “Who is it?” .The next moments that happened, were nothing like I ever experienced till date. The lady in my room, still not bothered of anything around her, slowly, rather very slowly stated to become vague. After a few seconds I could see though her as if she was some sort of holographic image. Within a few more seconds she was gone! Completely gone! Chills again ran through me, I wanted to call out my parents who were in sound sleep just beyond the hallway. But this time, I couldn’t make a sound. With no other option and fear sprouting in me, I somehow gathered my voice to call them out. I just called them once and maybe it was the fear in my voice that both ma and pa came running into my room. I narrated the entire incident to them, shivering. Even though my parents tried consoling me that it was just a hallucination I had, I could see my parents looking around as if they believed in what I saw.  Calling my brother, we all that night slept together in ma-pa’s room. But next day everyone acted normal and days went on smoothly till one day, years after this incident I again met the same lady in another weird situation. That story I’ll narrate may be next time. Bye. Stay safe! 

A new chapter in life

Here I am with yet another experience. This is about a role I took up in life and the goods and the bad I underwent in the phase. As most of you all know, I have been a house wife all along until last year when I suddenly decided to join my daughter’s school as a teacher to fulfill my passion to teach little tots. The moment I was acknowledged about my selection as a teacher, I was thrilled and ecstatic. I planned my schedule for the entire year making sure of it as such that my family wouldn’t even realize me working at all.

So, it was the first day and I was as expected, nervous but of course stubborn to do my best. I expected the children to be more bolshie, weeping, whining and all the rest of the fear in the world. But to my surprise they were more controlled and matured. Even though a few exceptions were there, majority of them would silently weep and try convincing us to let them go. My poor darlings! In return we would hug them, kiss them, sing to them, tell them stories and in no time they were all settled the very first day! And for my little tough babies, expert aunties involved in. But angels they were! MY Angels! Each of them, such sweet miracles of God! I never, in my dreams thought being a teacher was such a magical job! Trust me! Every improvement a child underwent seemed like magic. I never, till date, realized how it happened? Even when their parents tried giving me all the credits I gave them all back to my little darlings because I have no idea what I did. It’s all them, it’s all their hard work, I did nothing.

When all this magical moments happened I had started facing the unexpected. The schedule I planned earlier? Never actually happened. Every day had a reason to break it. And if I was the only one who suffered, I would, with no doubt, choose to endure more to see my little angels grow. But, unfortunately, my family also suffered, especially my princess. What happened was that even though we teachers were officially meant to be in the school till just 1, we had to stay till 3, 4 and even 5 for corrections, preparation, meetings and other zillion reasons. To accolade it all, I wasn't aware about the rule that children shouldn't stay back after school hours. Oh God! Crèche wasn't an option for us because we had earlier decided that as much as possible we will NOT put our daughter in a crèche. So when my husband was not in station, which happened most of the time last year, I would hesitantly walk up to our HM madam requesting her to grant me permission to retain my daughter. Our HM madam is more like a fried ice cream; all crusty and hard outside but all soft, melting and sweet inside. She is a wonderful lady who tries to help anyone who lets her to do so. Wanting to help me too but still abiding to the rules she was grand me permission with a statement not to repeat it again. Poor madam, she never denied me any permission at all what so ever be it and rather tried to always make me feasible for the permission. It’s really kind of her.What after that? My daughter would sit there in my class from 12:30 to what ever time I were to stay and would simply look outside or draw on the board without complaining about anything at all. Even my friend teachers would tell me how wrong I was doing making her to undergo those lonely hours, but what choice did I too have? I felt guilty the entire year for doing such cruelty to her even though it was not on purpose. But I never expected her to be so indulgent and mature enough to understand my circumstances which in turn was bad for her, as I made her to suffer it again and again when there was no complains made . My poor darling! I am very blessed to have a baby as her, I must say. I wouldn't deny a few mumbling at school about me retaining my daughter but I preferred being deafened to them as I always choose to remain silent on matters not confronted to me. I deem in matters being spoken than being gossiped.

Anyways, on the other days my darling had a more emotional suffering, if I could frame so. As per I was concerned, I was relieved the moment my husband came to pick her up as to me I feel she is safe with her uncle, my brother, who would take care of her quite well. But to what he told me, my princess would be all quite with tears in her eyes and always kept running to the window to see if I was coming. It was becoming difficult for me to accept my daughter being hurt this way almost everyday. But before I could even think about making a decision, my health added to the list of reasons I needed to consider. Due to quite a few sleepless nights which I chose to try putting in my best to my work; I started to face some serious health issues. Leaving me with no other choices than hard heartedly deciding to leave the school from the next academic year.

                      

But I did not leave empty handed for sure. I made a handful of friends to cling on to. I met a few awesome human beings who helped me at every step of my work. I learnt how to handle things. I became more independent and confident and most important of all I was blessed and showered with the innocent love of my 33 darlings! I will cherish every beautiful memory I lived through the year I worked and will compensate with all possible time I have with my daughter for the unintentional sufferings I caused her. In a summary a short chapter in my life just got over with all its share of sugar and spices and now here I am feeling proud of being a housewife and feeling a bit more powerful than ever!

 

Women

What are women? Are women those special creatures with ineffable beauty as expressed in some songs and poetry? Or those beings that are the core source of love and compassion as uttered by some philosophers? Well, none actually. Being a woman myself, I would describe my specie as just another creation. But yes of course, we are treated very differently. And the hard core truth is that we have to fight hard to attain the normalcy we actually belong to.

In the lime light of the recent crimes happening on women, there were many protests, riots, discussions and such conducted to curb the rising graph, nevertheless to find the real culprits behind this. Have you ever thought, regardless you being a man or woman, who are these real culprits. I would say it is ‘WE’. If we, in our entire lives, have judged a woman on the basis of her gender, then we are responsible; and this is the ultimate truth.

In India, even when the government strongly opposes it, parents demand a boy baby. The first insult slapped on a female, sadly, even before she is born.  After being born, the limitations she is brought into for the reason being a girl, is the next insult that follows. Denying her the right to study, the right to independence and such are a few among the series of insults that trail until the final blow of insult by her parents, the insult of ‘Dowry’.  I would call it the epitome of cruelty when a girl’s parents demand to pay a stranger a ransom for marrying off their own blessing of God. When her parents set the start to the series of abuses, what else is to be expected from the rest of the world! Why this difference? Why are females treated so inferior? Women are as good as men, but yes, in their own fields. They too have the right to live their life at its fullest just as any other man.

But let me also put light into a very narrow matter, which would be the difference between safety and right. No matter how impartial our society grows into, it is for sure to have black sheeps hidden. So, it is absolutely advisable to draw the line beyond which would be unsafe, be it for a woman or a man. Like in a case where there is a riot going on outside your house. It would be sensible to stay back at home and be safe rather than going out calling it to be your right!

So, I believe if we learn to respect an individual, regardless of what they are and such, value their emotion, a difference is made. Look around, note every single person you see, be it the beggar on road or boasting society lady in her imported attire or even the small winning infant on her mothers arm. Is there anyone whose tears wouldn’t matter you if you were a reason to it? If yes, then you don’t respect them. Respect is not proposed to the body or its material gains but it is a salutation given by your soul to another soul. So no matter what they are in this material world, no one has the right to insult a soul, a creation of God, if you believe in one.

Concluding myself, I would say that if we change our selves, may be we can make it a safer India for our daughters. 

My trip to kashmir

I always believed myself to be a ‘non traveler’. I preferred watching places through my very own Idiot Box. But now, thankyou to my darling hubby dearry! I love travelling, not frequent though, but yes occasionally would be just perfect! And my vacation to Kashmir would be the exact reason for this huge change!

To begin with, it was in the month of august that we and a few of our friends planned this trip. And the day arrived; YEI! Were we so exited? All of us, even my 4 year old angel, didn’t mind getting up at 3 in the morning to catch our flight from Bangalore to Delhi. The airport was as usual teeming and finally we boarded our Air India Flight. Unlike the repute, there were quite some young gorgeous airhostesses at our service despite their sporadic boorish attitude. I say so because, during our flight, one of our friend’s 2year old daughter, spilled water on her seat and the air hostess marched in to make a few rude comments. For heaven’s Sake she’s just a 2 year old girl! Anyways, we reached Delhi and while waiting for our next flight to Srinagar, my husband asked me to inform our loved ones back home that as ‘pre-paid mobile services’ are banned in Kashmir; we would be ‘out of reach’ for the rest of our retreat. I frankly thought he was teasing me when he mentioned about this previously, as he often pranks me, but this was true as Kashmir is a very sensitive place. In our next flight, Spice Jet, we reached Srinagar. The airport was quite small and not fancy at all. In the departure area, people crammed full receiving their kith and kin and we were searching for our travel agent guy who was to receive us at the airport.

 

Hazratbal darga

  



The sun was scorching and it felt as if each of sun’s rays were piercing through our skin. ‘Kashmir and this hot?’ we all mumbled unpleasantly getting into our rented cars. People there, looked very different from the rest of the Indians. They more resemble Egyptians. Fair, sharp features and their accent were more English. I gazed at every place I saw as we approached our destination. Our travel agent guy had already planned out our trip and so dropped us at a restaurant promising to unload our luggage at the boat house we were to stay that night. After a relishing lunch, we all set to begin our sightseeing. We began our trip, visiting the famous Hazratbal darga. But unlucky me, I didn’t bring a scarf to cover my head so, couldn’t enter. Our next destination was a Mughal garden named ‘Shalimar’. It was beautiful! Gorgeous flowers, trees, sceneries… it was a beautiful place. But coming from the ‘city of gardens’ it wasn’t worth it. The driver kept taking us to 2 or 3 gardens till we finally demanded, ‘that’s enough for today, and we did rather go back to our boat house’.

DAL Lake

Here we were at the banks of the Dal Lake gazing at the beautiful dusk scenery, where lighted house boats houses anchored on the other end and a few shikkaras with passengers wandered the golden lake. Simply beyond words, the tint of gold in the sky and the lake alike along with glitter like lights from the boat houses far away, made the scene as a true ‘heaven on earth’ moment. I mesmerizingly travelled in the shikkara to our house boat. But the ‘aha’ moment ended the minute we saw our house boat. The house boat as though was gorgeous and was more like a wooden palace. The water in which it is located was ‘YUCK!’ filled with filth and green algae. As a mother and a wife, I was worried about my family’s health but was left with no choice but to live through it. The inside of the boat house was fine and so we didn’t have much of an issue for the night.



GULBARGA



Next day we got up at 6 in the morning to get set for our trip. But while leaving the boat house, a Kashmiri mouse fell in love with my hand bad and presented me a big hole in it! I at least hope it enjoyed its bite. Anyways, I some how managed. While arranging the shikkara to get off the other end, we realized that the shikkara guy was trying to swindle us of money. After long heated hours of arguments we some how managed to get ashore. These shikkara guys are mostly very uncouth people, must say! Moving on, we were then taken to our hotel rooms where we were to stay for our next days in Kashmir. Our next destination was ‘GULBARGHA’. Having already taken the tickets to its famous ‘Rope way’, we set off our journey. On the way, we saw the most popular fresh, pale colored Kashmiri apples. I don’t remember exactly how much we bought but yes enough to last the whole day. Munching on the gorgeous and yum apples we reached Gulbarga. As soon as we reached the spot, we were encircled with people demanding us to hire their horses to the Gulbarga rope way. Being warned earlier, we ignored their requests and enjoyed our every step to the top. We just went on the 1st phase of the rope way and relished a nice picnic lunch there. The panoramic beauty there was astounding too; lush green grassland, evenly grown over a large horizon of uneven land, horses grazing over them with light blue sky above them. It took the rest of the day as we reached back to our hotel rooms. The hotel staffs welcomed the tired us with a savoring dinner to nibble on. After which we fell over our beds to relive the beautiful day in our dreams.

Apples

The alarm rang at 6 and we, who usually find it lazy to get up at this hour, jumped off the bed to get ready. After having our breakfast with the rest of our friends we set our destination to ‘PEHELGHAM’. On the way, we stopped by a small orchard. There we saw many varieties of apples, pomegranates, guavas, grapes, all dangling from their trees and plants. The orchard owners were so good at heart that they explained each and every detail about the fruits and also answered a few of my silly questions. It feels so good to meet such good people. Continuing our journey for quite a while more, we reached our destination. Reaching there, the climate wasn’t as the rest of Srinagar. It was cold, some what similar to what we expected Kashmir to be. On the way, we rode along a river flowing at full speed besides us. There were rafting points in the middle. At PEHELGHAM, we hired a different cab to see the “attraction points”. At first we went to a place where the road to “AMAR YATRA” ends. I felt pleased to have had the opportunity to touch the holy waters of the river LIDDER. The views on the way to the tip was spellbinding, nature’s Magic would be the right word. On our way down, we stopped by a garden called “BETAB” garden. The garden is named after a Bollywood movie Betab, shot there. We all played in the waters of Lidder River passing at a slower pace through this garden. It was chilling cold and the feeling was nothing less than standing on ice. While returning to the spot where our other cabs were waiting, we visited another spot with a beautiful view; I have now forgotten the name though. Returning home and enjoying a wonderful dinner we were all set to pack and get our sleeps for our return to Bangalore the next day.



pehelgham

 In the morning, all packed and dressed, we had a nice breakfast at the hotel and bid them a good bye. On the way to the airport, I gazed out the window to see the last of Kashmir in this trip. The security check ups at Srinagar were much stronger than any we had experienced before. But without much trouble we flew back to Delhi and from Delhi to Bangalore on the same day. Landing in Bangalore, I rang up my parents to let them know of our arrival. Sighing of relief, they were happy to know we were safe. In the flight, my daughter who was happy and giggling anxiously told me, “Mamma, after visiting our home here in Bangalore, can we go back to Kashmir please?” Smiling at my little angel I realized that Kashmir has cast its magic on her too the manner it had done on all of us!

Yet Another Thought

I am a whole hearted believer in GOD and I love him from the bottom of my heart. I really don’t care about people calling me old fashioned or any such “names” they supposedly would call me, for being so. Before getting deeper into the topic let me warn the non believers that this article wouldn’t be of your interest.

As many Indian housewives do, I do for sure make an effort to offer my prayers to My Great Lord during the dusk and dawn.  I may be doing it as a part of a tradition performed by my parents and theirs, or may be an effort to be like my mom. But what so ever be the reason, I do feel a positive vibe flowing in the house which I believe is because of these routine prayers.  In the manner I believe in God, I do deem in science too, but I am absolutely not convinced about the non existence of a matter just because science doesn’t have an answer to it. 

If you have observed, there is a world beyond this visual world that connects to this world through vibes, sounds and such. As to what I have known through books and experienced people, that world have both positive and negative forces. The positive forces are what we call Gods and the negative is what we are scared of. In accordance to my ancestors, if the positive forces are welcomed and pleased in one’s house, the negatives would keep their distance; as in their world, unlike ours, opposites repel. May be this concept is portrayed in a very old fashioned and traditional manner by the older generation so that the people then are more convinced. These forces are like the fragrance of a flower, it is there, and you can smell it but can’t see it.  These forces, are there and you can feel it if you try, but can’t see it. Also, I believe every person has an aura, and doing positive karma and pleasing the positive forces one can feel the ecstasy and inner peace without much hard work.

In today’s busy life, I see people running to meditation centers or relaxation centers to relieve themselves from all the chaos around them. But I strongly believe that this inner peace can be attained only when one’s aura is clean and clear. When a person is clear at heart and make sure not to do any wrongful deeds, at least to their knowledge, it reflects on to their face and their inner beauty and pleasantness is revealed. Inner peace, according to me, is attained when one’s aura reaches the sanity or purity of their soul.

Also, another thought that occurred to me was about being a non vegetarian. Many people I knew did criticize me that being a non vegetarian is in itself a sin. But let me question them in return, if that is so plants do have life too? Plucking off their children (fruits and veggies) for our survival isn’t a sin? Ripping their womb to have their babies (peas) for our pleasure isn’t a sin? Why to say, we all do have cattle milk, have anyone wondered that this cattle milk was actually meant for its calves and not us. Depriving the calf off its mother’s milk for our selfishness, isn’t that a sin? Well the answer is no, It’s not a sin because this is what is called a life cycle. We are all a part of it and human beings are especially omnivorous, meaning, one who eats vegetarian and non vegetarian.  Another argument is that food is divided into 3 levels, saathvik(highest), rajasik(moderate) and thaamsik (lowest); and non vegetarian food comes into the lowest level. Well, on a little research done over this topic, it came to my knowledge that these levels are actually on the basis of the food affecting our systems. If any vegetarian food is prepared in a manner that could harm our body then its thaamsik and if a non vegetarian food is prepared in a manner that only benefits our body then it becomes saatwik. Anyways, the conclusion here is that just being a non vegetarian is not a sin at all, rather we are just being a part of the life cycle and following the rules set by the nature.

I have believed in these concepts since a child and may be so; I have been able to lead a good life till now. I do have all due respects for people who believe otherwise too and don’t intend to disrespect anyone. These are my point of views and my spiritual thoughts about the mystical side of this world.

On a Friday Lunch table

It was a hot Friday afternoon. My husband had come home for lunch picking up my 3 year old angel from school.  On the lunch table, as my husband gulped up the last drop of the iced water in his glass, I gently asked, ‘Among the 7 days in a week, which one is your favorite?’ Without a moment’s delay, he shot the answer, “Sundays! Ah….h, I can’t wait to lazily lie down on that couch and relax all day long”. Copying her daddy, my little angel too bellowed, “Sunday! I love Sundays!”; when asked about my choice, I smiled and replied, “Friday.”

Yes, I eagerly wait for Fridays every week. Being a house wife, my favorite moments are those that I spend with my family. And even though it is Saturdays and Sundays that actually gives it to me at its fullest, it is Friday when I feel all happy realizing that my family would be with me for the next 2 days. As Saturday comes and goes, I feel sad about the weekends ending. And I hate Sundays when I realize after which I have to wait for 5 more days to get my family all to myself.

Even though my husband simply smiled as a reply, it was clear that he did like my answer. While my baby wanting to copy her mommy deary answered, “Mamma, I was about to add Friday when you interrupted. I actually love Sundays and Fridays”. We all laughed at her very clever and diplomatic answer and relished our lunch then.  

Am I a Good Mother?

No matter what I do, this question pesters me every now and then. Like every other parent, I do want my angel to be the best of the best in the world. I know it’s a little too much but I believe in the statement that says,

“Try for the stars, for you might at least reach the moon”.

Right from when she was born, I keep telling her “NO-NO, that’s what bad girls do” when she pulls my hair or does something naughty; and people keep telling me, “She’s too small to understand, you are for sure to be a strict mom in the future!” Well, that hurts me, because for me, she will always remain my small angel no matter how big she grows. And so, how will I know she has grown up to be advised? So, to be on a safer side, I started reacting right from when she was small so that when she gains the ability to understand she will get through my words. But on the other side, I don’t want to be a strict parent whom the little one may dislike in future. I keep questioning myself, am I really strict or am I overreacting?

And as and when she grew, my little angel started to be naughty by time. As I adore children being naughty, I didn’t scold or punish her for the smallest of the things but yes I do make sure she learns the basics of life as, listening to elders, respecting them, basics of behaving, manners and such. When ever she made a mistake, I made sure to give her a helping hand and correcting her where needed. Not all the situations were friendly though, I had to be strict and had to scold her where stubbornness came our way. But again, I hear comments as, “She’s too small to learn that”, or “Why do you keep scolding the poor soul” or gives her that sympathetic look as if I am about to eat her alive! Once again I’m confused! I just want her to grow up right! After all she’s a smaller version of me! If ever she does a mistake in future, more than the fact that the same people around would blame me to have grown her up wrong, my baby would have to go through the consequence.

But at the end of the day, when my baby tell me, “Mamma, I love you the most!” Something in my heart says I am on the right track even though somewhere on the other corner the question still remains, “Am I a good mom?”

My daughter Yuvi

Tried Sketching after 1.5 years.

MY MOM

I stood there alone in the centre of the crowd,

That indicted and howled at me so loud,

Helplessly I stood gawking at the ground,

Feeling more lonely than now it sounds,

Suddenly on me, I felt a warm touch,

I turned to see who loved me so much,

“MOM” I cried feeling an ease at heart,

And ran into her welcoming open arms,

I hugged her tight, closing my eyes,

Deafeningly, like a tot, I cried,

After a few, moment or so,

I lifted my head and nobody I saw,

Not a soul there with a negative vibe,

As if it never happened in my life,

I then looked into my mom’s eyes,

A godly grace I notice in them, this time,

I fell back into her warm loving hands,

‘I love you ma’, I whispered in her ears.

N.B-> HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MA!

Tell me Why?

Earth was born and life escorted

From microbes to humans we sprouted,

Jungles to cities and wild to mild,

We changed the world for us to survive,

What is in this that God disliked?

That He preferred to destroy and make us cry.

. He was the One, who made us Feeble,

But we survived and proved capable.

Through floods and fire, He shows His anger,

Accompanying it with a land that shivers,

With morning hearts and bleeding souls,

Loud and loud again His name we call.

Why aren’t our calls being heard?

Why isn’t He happy with us?

Shouldn’t He be happy that we survived?

With His creations we utilized.

Oh Dear Lord! Please do not kill us,

We are just your children who just need your Guidance.

My Beautiful 'Red Beauty'

Diwali season was approaching and we had just shifted to a very beautiful new home. So much to settle in so few days; my parents and brother joined us soon enough to help us shove the dresses into the cupboards and March furniture to their places. All were going grand and when almost done, we all decided to go for a small outing to add to the great time we were having. Our little red beauty stood their waiting for us to hop in and run away to anywhere we desired.

Like there isn’t a tomorrow, mom and me chitchatted about everything under the sun as we sat in our red beauty. Around an hour later, heading back home, we noticed a burning smell. Presuming it to be from the neighborhood, we ignored and decided to move on. At that fraction of the second, as a reflex action though, I turned behind for no specific reason, to see some glowing fire sort of particles flying away from underneath our vehicle. Instantly, I shouted, “ STOP THE CAR!!! THERE IS SOMETHING UNDERNEATH… I SAW SOMETHING!!!!”. My shriek did work and my husband decided to have a look. But everything seemed to be perfectly fine and everyone started to complain about my “Imagination”. Very much confused, I sat there recalling what I saw. While getting back to his driver’s seat, my husband noticed a slight smoke from inside the bonnet. A little panicked, he jumped off his seat to inspect the smoke. Noticing something wrong, my dad and my brother got off the car, accompanying my husband. The next thing I heard was my brother shout, “MA! ECHI! GET OUT OF THE CAR! THE CAR IS ON FIRE!” I freaked and got off the car when my mom ran off through the other side with my baby. As I ran away from the car, I saw Fire raging from the car engine; I was speechless, shocked. I felt sudden chills run through my spine as I watched my red beauty burn in front of my eyes. Tears went on pouring in and holding them back never even occurred to me. Many people around me were trying to make me look away but how can I? My red beauty was in front of me burning and I was standing there staring and doing nothing. Suddenly it started to horn, so loudly that it defended me for a second. For the rest of the world it was mere a car horn, but for me, it was a cry for help. I felt helpless. Even though I saw the fire brigades rush in I felt helpless. Slowly after say 5 minutes my Red beauty’s horns started to fade as if it was dying and was in its last stages. Then it stopped. The emotion I felt at that moment was beyond words. Slowly everything settled, and the fire was under control. While my brother, husband and dad stayed back making phone calls and dealing with the situation, one nice man offered us a ride home.

Today here we stand, without even a scratch while God knows where our Red beauty is ……. in scraps. The day I lost my red beauty, was when I realized how much was it a part of us. Now we do have another ride, I call it ‘The Red Dragon’ this time. Hope it would be with us as long as we wish to.

Much beyond what they seems

Some day’s back, I went through an article, revealing a part of my thought that was never before explored. I live a normal life as any parents do. Doing everything I can for my baby and when now thought upon, expecting her to be grateful in her future for my so-called ‘selfless deeds’. But now, after that article was read, I realize that it is rather I who has to be thankful to my baby for helping me undergo this transition, I am undergoing now.

Surfing through web pages for general baby caring tips, my eyes caught a page that was nothing out of the ordinary. Its bold black title saying, “I love my baby” convinced me to just look through it. But every word I came across touched my deepest motherly emotion, taking me to a height from where I could see what my baby was doing for me.

Babies are an absolute magic of nature with the perfect amount of perfection in charisma, innocence and everything magical. Before my thoughts were altered, if I were asked to describe a baby, I would say, “Cute, innocent and sweet”. But when asked to describe a mother, I would have had infinite words to say. May be its because I being a daughter, see my mother do anything and everything for my mere smile.

I didn’t mind my sleepless nights and many such situations I faced, to make my baby happy. Every time I did something for her, all I thought was about her comfort and happiness. But what did I know that my baby, as she grew, was transforming me from a girl to a complete woman.

Her incapability to do anything on her own taught me responsibility. How better can anyone learn to be responsible than looking after a baby? Thinking and doing things for her, automatically made me mature. Her inefficiency to categorize right from wrong helped me be more vigilant, involving and observing. But the biggest part is yet to come. I never realized before that a baby who doesn’t know anything, literally anything, would know to love his/her mother more than her.

As with me, at times, TV shows or any other work I do, carries me away forgetting, for a moment though, about my baby; but she has never forgotten to have a glance at me, even if she is indulged in her most favorite activities. On occasion, amongst my busiest days, I fail to see those innocent eyes gazing and smiling at me; but I haven’t seen her miss even my single smile. Also, when our eyes meet, before my reflexes jump towards her, I see her charging into my arms irrespective of what comes between us. Tears literally rolled off my eyes as I realized it. I was also happy that I love my mom more than she does.

I sat back on my chair looking at my baby who was having a sound sleep besides me. I was feeling an indescribable emotion for her. “My little sweet heart” I thought as tears rolled off my cheeks, “Blessed with a baby as you, I am more than overwhelmed to love you beyond myself. Thank you for being mine.” Saying so I gave her a sweet soft kiss on her cheeks. Moaning slowly she turned to me, placing her delicate little soft hand on me and went back to her dreams.

Reliving a wonderful day

On a bed, I laid facing the walls,

With my baby, inside my belly, so small.

Recalling everything that happened that day,

And worrying if my baby being ok.

The pressure of my blood, rise with no control,

The reason why, exactly no one knows,

Drugs and shots showered like never before,

But my pressure kept increasing more and more.

Then that night, my doctor came to talk,

And told me “Honey, all’s not as we thought”,

I bet I was dead for a second or so,

“My baby…?” I asked, in a tone very low.

“Your baby is fine” ah…finally she said,

Music were, those words to my ears,

Then there was a “but” that followed,

That held my breath for a moment more.

“We need to take your baby out”,

“Already, a lot of time we’ve lost”.

Those words sent me to a state of fright,

Dreadful thoughts crept off my mind.

I wished my husband were there with me,

And my parents for once I wanted to see,

What if I didn’t make it through the moments to happen?

How will I tell them how much I love them?

With scissors and knives cutting through my belly,

I lay there staring at the lights above me.

Deaden and numb I felt my body,

And my head filled with thoughts eerie.

All I heard were those metal clinking sounds,

And suddenly I heard a sound that felt odd.

I soon realized it was my baby cry aloud,

Oh my GOD! My baby is now born!

I don’t remember anything from then on,

I was in my own new beautiful thoughts,

Of a life I were to live from then on,

As a mother of my little new born.

Once again reliving that wonderful day,

Simply lightens up my little face,

And make me gaze at my bundle of happiness,

To realize how precious she is to us.

nb-> my baby is now 9 mnths old.....

A memory to cherish

It was 3 in the afternoon; the labor room doors were shut closed. Dharam walked to and fro in apprehension, Sayanthini sat on a chair supporting Janaki amma who was limitlessly worrying. There was tension filled in the environment. Suddenly the labor room doors opened. Everyone’s eyes ran to the door. A nurse came out with a white bundle. “It’s a Girl”, she said. Dharam ran to the nurse to hold his angel. He couldn’t believe his eyes, he recalled her small kicks and jerks he felt on his darling Sandhya’s tummy and now here she is all cuddled up, in his hands. Tears rolled off his eyes; “She is beautiful” He whispered and kissed the baby’s forehead. “Yes she is, Dharam,” replied Janaki amma who was now a grandma. Sayanthini was eager to hold her niece. She carefully held the baby in her arms. Within no time, Sandhya was united to her family; Sandhya and Dharam looked at each other. There was a wordless conversation between their eyes. Suddenly the baby interrupted them with her cry, Dharam laughed at this and to the baby he said “Yes darling, now you will get all our attention”. The rest too laughed to what he said and enjoyed the moment at its fullest.

For You My Dear…….

The instant I acknowledged your existence in me,

I stood there astounded, smiling in glee

Droplets of tears rolled out from my eyes,

I don’t know why at that moment I cried.

Was it the happiness or love that I felt?

Or an emotion for which words would fall less,

Or a sensation about u being in me,

Beautiful was it, which ever the reason be.

Your father, who as well, stood there speechless,

Had a smile on his face and a look of excitement,

Though stronger than me, tears rolled off his eyes,

He too must have had the feelings as mine.

Punching and kicking you created a bond,

An attachment to describe was words beyond,

Our touch and stroke performed as to respond,

A beautiful connection had now been formed.

Time ticked off and bigger you grew,

Your punching and kicking was now stronger too,

The enliven and hearty movements you made,

Showed us how exiting was the feeling you had.

Darling, my dear, we love you so much,

Waiting for the day you will accompany us,

And win our hearts with that charismatic touch,

Eagerly waiting for you so much.

N.B-> This poems was written when i was pregnant. Reading this poem makes me wonder that this little princess of mine was the one who was all kicking in my belly some months ago.It is a speechless feeling.

UNEXPECTED

“Mom! Doesn’t Anushitha dhidhi and Slokh jiju make an awesome couple?” asked Vikha as she excitedly gazed at the newly wedded couple posing for the cameras clicking at them. Without even blinking her eyes she walked slowly thinking about them “Everyone here is to celebrate their unity, they are so luck, I wish..……” when suddenly she dashed into someone. “I am so sorry I was….” And she looked up to apologize. But she forgot every single word to say when she saw him. A 6 ft tall, fair, dashingly handsome young gentle man holding her hands to stop her from falling. Their eyes did the talking for the next few seconds. But before anyone could notice them they regained their sense to walk away as if nothing happened. After this incident all Vikha could think about is this man. Her eyes searched every nook and corner for him. Bad luck may be, she couldn’t find him anywhere. On the way back home too all she thought about was him, him and only him.

The next day, Vikha as usual, dressed up to go to the college. At college, Vikha and her friends spent the whole time discussing about this man she came across the previous day at the function. She just couldn’t get him off her mind. Returning home, she saw a Red Ford Icon parked in front of her house. With a very confused expression, Vikha wondered whose it was. Slowly entering the house she saw many unfamiliar having tea with her parents. “Here she is!” Said her father with a pinch of excitement in his voice, “Go and freshen up honey, we have some guests waiting to meet you.” Understanding the whole situation she was walking to the next room when by the corner of her eye she saw her “unknown handsome man” sitting at the last sofa staring at her with a stunning smile. Before she could ensure it was really him or simply her imagination she had entered the next room. To go back and have look wasn’t a good idea at all so she went forward to get freshened up as being told. After a while Vikha’s mom, came in to help her dress up. As she helped, she said, “Vikha, honey, this is a very good marriage proposal, the boy is damn handsome and he is an engineer abroad. Besides they had seen you yesterday at Anushitha’s wedding and the boy made you his choice.” Vikha silently listened to everything and nodded as a response.

Vikha was bought outside to the guests waiting for her. After knowing the exact situation here Vikha wasn’t courageous enough to even lift her eyelids. Everyone showered questions at her and Vikha silently answered all she could. When everyone seemed satisfied and happy one elderly among the guests said “Wouldn’t the boy and the girl want to have a word? So how about leave them here and we go to see the house?” agreeing to this everyone except a person left the room.

“Hi”, said a very manly but gentle voice. “hi” replied Vikha very silently still looking down. “I am Akshith….. to be specific the person you bumped into yesterday” and just that moment Vikha looked at him. And yes it was him, the same “unknown handsome man” she was thinking about the whole day! Vikha was speechless and didn’t know what to do. She resumed her position with her eyelids down but this time she had a smile on her face. Akshith who was watching vikha’s reaction smilingly said, “ I can see that you did recall me. And as for me, I liked you the very moment we met and I now know all I want to know about you so do you want to know anything about me?” Vikha shyly replied “No”. “Oh I suppose that is Uncle’s and aunty’s part of the job, right?” asked Akshith trying to mix in a sense of humour. Vikha too responded with a small giggle. Their small and almost one sided conversation went on for a few minutes and finally Akshith losing her patience asked, “Vikha, do you like me?” Vikha slowly raised her head and looked at Akshith. There was a silence between them. She looked down again and replied “Yes”. Akshith felt on top of the world and said. “Thank you. Thankyou so much, we’ll soon meet again. Very soon.” Saying this he walked off the room and joined Vikha again with the rest.

Everyone had left and the teasing part of her parents and brother was over too. Vikha was in her room lying on her bed finding it hard to believe what just happened. “I never thought I was this lucky”, She thought when suddenly her mobile rang.
“Hello, Vikha here”,
“Hello Darling, your Akshith here”
“Akshith!.... hi”
“So what was my beautiful doing?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing? Or thinking about me?”
Vikha giggled.
“Now I got that answer”.
This conversation went for hours and hours. Everyday both Akshith and Vikha chatted on hours and hours on phone. Even though both very badly wanted to meet each other their parents disagreed to it. But Akshith managed to meet vikha from her college at times. A month passed as a blink of an eye and the date of their union came.

Halls were grandly decorated and everything was done at its at most perfection Everything was as it had to be and so were the rituals conducted. Now Akshith and Vikha was “husband and wife” . As she sat their with Akshath posing for the camera’s she noticed a girl bump into a boy some distance away. With a smile she thought “There comes another Akshith and Vikha… hihihihi”.

Lessons of Life

"St. Martha's women's college would be the best choice i would say..." said Mr. Bhose, Aakruthi's father. "Exactly; as it is a women's college we wouldn't have much to be tensed about to.." replied Mrs. Bhose completely agreeing to her husband's decision. The final decision was made.

Aakruthi, a very peppy, virtuous and angelic girl. She was the only child Mr and Mrs Bhose had. Their possessiveness had become a sort of imprisonment for her. She got all she wanted but, she was denied of the right to take any decision at all.

Finally, the decision made was conveyed to Aakruthi. Her dream to study in a mixed college was now impossible. She wasn't having a choice. AS her parents wished, she joined the women's college. Even the colour dresses didn't fascinate her much because it was a women's college. All her life she was allowed to be only only with girls. She had even done her schooling in a girl's only school. "Why am only i made to be with my kind?" she thought annoyingly.

Days passed and once, Mr Bhose said " Aki, i got a transfer to the most farthest place of this city so i wont be able to drop you to the college, can u manage with your friends or should i make provision for that?" Instantly "No, I'll manage" came the reply from Aakruthi. "At least now i am free for a few hours" she rejoiced in her mind.

The next day as she walked to college with her friends, she saw a man on the other side of the road having a glimpse of her. "Hmm.. quite a handsome man" she thought to herself and walked away. The following day she saw the same man at the same spot but this time he was smiling at her. Somewhere in a corner of her heart she liked it, but walked away ignoring what happened. The days that then followed was never the usual, her eyes searched for that man as she walked her way to the college... they both started smiling at each other, then the smile turned to their small comments then talks then letters and finally they were deeply in love with each other.

Smaran was the man who won Aakruthi's heart. By occupation he was a helper at a near by bakery and by looks he wasn't less than on screen heroes. Their love was in their 3rd year when Aakruthi's parents caught her red handed. As expected she was warned locked and Mr and Mrs Bhose were thinking of getting her married else where.

As in any Desi movies, she decided to elope with Smaran and she did.They register married and decided to start a life together.

A new world was in front of her. "With Smaran... i can manage anything, be it money or any matter" she thought. Days passed and even though she was finding it difficult to adjust with his surroundings. her dedication, determination and love was helping her manage all the difficulties.Smaran at times tried to convince Aakruthi regarding calling her parents, but she stood strong on not to call them at all, rather not to even think about them.But then slowly Aakruthi started noticing a slight difference in Smaran's affection for her. She thought it was just her thought and ignored it. Every day then only made her feel more of the feeling she had. Gradually, Smaran who used to shower Aakruthi with affectionate and beautiful words started yelling and shouting at her. She weeped and weeped until the day she caught Smaran red handed with another girl. That was the day she faced the truth about Smaran and his love. All she remember she heard was Smaran saying, "Why the hell should i love you or be with you? You don't have money and you don't even want to go back to your parents to get me money....I loved you only in an intention to get money and a secure life which you cant give me so i don't want to be with you any more"..........


She opened her eyes, she finds herself in the hospital. Aakruthi who had fainted listening to smaran's words was taken to hospital by some good people in the area. The nurse came into the room saying,"Congrats, you are pregnant,but you need to stay in the hospital for a while. So your husband contact details?" She didn't know whose contact details had to be given, her husband's who is cheating on her or her parents whom she had cheated on. Finally she decided to try her luck and gave her parent's number. After a while she heard a knock on the door when she looked to see who it was she saw her mother standing. For a min their eyes spoke everything then there was a loud cry from both the sides. they hugged each other and cried for long. Mr. Bhose who was equally hurt had tears rolling off his eyes despite the decision not to cry.

Aakruthi told everything to them on what had happened. Mr & Mrs. Bhose were speechless. They decided to accept Smaran. But Aakruthi was not ready. She had decided to separate from Smaran and become a single mother. Mr & Mrs. Bhose tried explaining all sort of difficulties to her but she had decided. as there wasn't anything further to be done, her parents supported the decision she made and stood with her for every decision she made then on.

This is just a story from my imagination but i am sure there are many such happening around the world. Who is to blame here? The parents who are over protective? The girl who wants freedom? Or the boy who tricked a girl to his trap for money? So to all parents who love their children more than themselves, your dear children have a heart too they have dreams too... when you decide on something for them do not forget to ask what they want too....... and to those girls running in search for freedom and love, even though you may feel you are wise enough to understand what is genuine and what not, you should know that this world is full of wrongs and as your parents have allot of experiences in life they can know these wrongs better... and to those money seeking people, money that you make is only yours and what you achieve in wrong ways are never yours and will never give you peace in life....Mark my words............

Missing you so much my dear………

Love was mere an expression, until I met you,
It nurtured to an emotion, the more of you I knew,
Our union was something our planets decided,
But our hearts merged with our own desires.

Every moment with you, is a treasure I cherish,
An instant without you makes me feel I’ll perish,
But for the little one growing inside my womb,
I have to stay away, a little more long.

The sorrow and pain we endure being apart,
Is for the bliss and ecstasy that is to be our part,
But every second of this acute pain I bear,
I feel as a decade and more than I can stand.

I now long to be in your arms my dear,
And my hands were around you tighter than ever,
Our eyes closed and our heartbeats we hear,
Ah… to do so I have to wait for a little longer

Every teardrop that rolled off my eyes,
Every sigh that came out from my inside,
Reminds me how profoundly I am in love with you,
And how eternal our bond is now.

“Touchwood” to all who are astounded by these words,
Our bond should always remain indivisible,
Our unity and love is for perpetuity, I know my dear,
That will blossom always be it autumn or winter…

N.B->This poem is dedicated completely to my husband. Due to a personal reason, we have to stay away from each other for some months and i wanted him to know how much i miss him.......